Seek First To Understand - Empathy In Camming

 

I was on an AMA site a few months back, and I remember someone asking me what was the creepiest thing that happened to me when I was camming. I get a lot of questions like these, and I guess it shouldn't surprise me that people tend to look for information that makes them feel shocked, or indignant, or even a feeling of superiority.
And I responded to him saying the most disturbing thing I see on cam is how many great guys there are who've found themselves in situations outside of their control, which makes it difficult for them to meet girls. The arbitrary cruelty of life is what disturbs me more than anything else - - that bad things happen to good people so depressingly often.

And this brings me to the topic of today's article - something I learned from reading a book by Steven Covey "Seek First To Understand, Before Being Understood".
Camming is a trip, it's so much fun. I get to express myself, enjoy myself with people who like my company, I get to satiate my exhibitionist tendencies. At the same time, I need to notice who my members are, and connect with them at an emotional level.

As camgirls, the enjoyment of the experience sometimes leads to us forgetting that our members have their own lives, their own emotional needs. I've always tried to be as empathetic as possible with my members. This happens naturally over time, of course - - my regular members are, by now, my closest friends online. But even for someone who comes to my room the first time, I want to make them feel at home like they're appreciated.

Because we've all been that person at a party who doesn't know anybody, and we know how difficult it is to break the ice sometimes. And camming is, first and foremost, a social space. Yes, it's sexual, but I feel people sometimes get too caught up in the sexual aspect of it, probably because they're projecting their discomfort or unwillingness to express their sexual side.

One of the things I'm proud of is having kept up interactions with my members, and allowing myself to be their friend, to share and talk and emote freely. I can't understand why people in the mainstream look at camming as a sleazy affair - - the world can be a lonely place, and anything that people do to alleviate that, to make someone's day-to-day existence more exciting - - to me, is a noble need.

But to do that, one must come from a space of "seeking first to understand". When I get to know a new member, I try to ask myself, how can I be their friend? How can I make them feel more comfortable? How can I make them feel unafraid to speak their mind?

I've seen all my camgirl friends do this as well. I think it's a dimension of what webcam models do that is underplayed - probably because it doesn't make for good clickbait. But it's crucial. The top cam models are all amazing empaths, and add so much value to their members' lives. I'm just starting, of course, and I hope I'll keep getting better with time.

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